Squashed

Let’s talk about squash.

A little over a month ago, Theresa and I made the foolhardy decision to keep all four cocozelle zucchini starts.  We knew we were courting danger, but we also both really like summer squash and we feared that the gophers might grab one or two of the plants.  They didn’t, of course, and now we are reaping the stripey green consequences.  Daily.  Sometimes twice.  You know how it is.  But the cocozelle are so sweet and creamy, I have no regrets (yet).  I will eat summer squash any way imaginable, including raw; Bob is a little less excited about consuming them three times a day.  Luckily, I have a few recipes up my sleeve that are perfect for dealing with the Plague of Zucchini.  Print them out and tuck them into the sacks of your own summer squash that you’re probably already leaving on neighbors’ doorsteps and in your friends’ cars. 

Cocozelle on parade!

Zucchini Crust Pizza

from Jane Brody’s Good Food Book

This pizza crust is essentially a thin frittata, and its mellow tastiness complements every combination of sauce and toppings that I’ve thrown at on it.  Forks are required, but the tradeoff is that you don’t need a side salad to ensure that everyone’s getting enough veggies.

• 2 lbs. of unpeeled, shredded summer squash
• 1 egg white and 2 whole eggs, lightly beaten
• 1 large onion, finely chopped
•  ⅓ cup flour (any type that will absorb moisture)
• ½ cup grated mozzarella
• ½ cup grated Parmesan
• ½ tsp dried basil or more if fresh.  Other pizza-type herbs are good too: rosemary, oregano, etc.
• freshly ground black pepper to taste

1. Preheat the oven to 350 °F. 
2.  Grate the squash.  Toss it with ~½ tsp of salt and let it rest.
3. Beat, chop and grate the rest of the ingredients.  Combine them into a large bowl. 
4.  Scoop the grated squash into one of those reusable mesh produce bags, or several thicknesses of cheesecloth.  (If you really get desperate you can use a colander, but it’s kind of a pain.)  Squeeze the bejeezus out of that zucchini until no more liquid comes out or your hands get tired, whichever comes first. 
5. Combine the squeezed zucchini with the rest of your crust ingredients.  Press the mixture into a greased pizza pan or half-sheet baking pan, something with a bit of rim around it. 
6. Bake 25-30 minutes until the crust is firm and getting lightly browned in places.  Meanwhile, prepare your toppings of choice. 
7. Remove the crust from the oven and turn the oven up to 400 °F.  Arrange sauce and toppings on the crust, and return the pizza to the oven until whatever you put on there is melted/browned to your satisfaction. 

With some help from pizza-loving friends, you can double the recipe and kill 2-3 days’ harvest of summer squash this way without feeling like it’s zucchini for dinner again.

Zucchini “Pasta” Salad

This version includes fresh tomatoes, sprouted mung beans, blue cheese-stuffed olives, and slivered almonds.

I invented this last summer as a last-minute lunch for some friends who dropped by, and it was a hit.  Who wants to boil pasta when it’s hot and the summer squash are beating down the door?  Freshly-picked zucchini are fantastic raw; especially if you catch ‘em while they’re still small.

Grate your unpeeled zucchini.  In a large bowl, combine the shredded squash with some combination of things like:

• olives
• tomatoes (sundried or fresh)
• feta cheese
• fresh basil, dill, parsley, or whatever is growing out there
• pickled green beans or other veggies
• sweet peppers
• green or red onion
• grated carrot
• corn freshly cut off the cob
• kidney beans
• avocado chunks

Dress the salad with a vinaigrette of olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt to taste, and a little crushed garlic.  Toss and serve!  It gets tastier with age, but also juicier.

And now for some gratuitous baby photos from the garden:

Squashrocket to the moon!  What could be cuter than a baby butternut?

This acorn squash was a volunteer.  The giant green mass that you see in the background is the rest of the plant, quietly consuming the meeting-house.

I've been curious to try eating squash blossoms for awhile, but couldn't find the time last summer to experiment.  But zucchini are not the only cucurbitae growing around here, and there are just too many squash blossoms in the garden to ignore.  So I finally picked a basketful and tried out some variations:

Stuffed Squash Blossoms

A mixture of summer squash, acorn squash, and butternut squash blossoms.

I'm not gonna lie to you; filling these suckers is, frankly, time-consuming.  But they come out beautifully crispy and taste delicious.  Make them only when you're in the mood for a leisurely meal preparation, comfortably seated next to the fan with music and a glass of beer.  We've eaten these for dinner alongside jalapeno poppers that used essentially the same filling and baked in the same oven, with a lemon-garlic aioli for dipping.  It was like pub food from heaven.  Fresh cucumber spears and perfectly grilled butternut squash make a nice accompaniment also (thank you Bob). 

Depending on whether you want to use a pastry bag or just your fingers, prepare one of the two fillings below:

1. Pastry Bag Method

   Mini Log Method

   Combine: ·  1 cup ricotta (or cottage cheese) ·  1 egg ·  ⅓ cup fresh parsley or basil, chopped fine ·  Salt to taste Fill a sturdy quart Ziploc bag with the filling, and cut the tip of one bottom corner off.  If you have a pastry bag, so much the better.  Gently open each squash blossom, squeeze filling into it, and twist loosely at the end to close.  Don’t worry about making a mess; it doesn’t affect the final product.

   Smoosh together: ·  2/3 cup feta or chevre · ½ cup finely grated Monterey Jack · ½ cup finely chopped sweet or hot pepper · 1 tsp. dried oregano Roll a bit of the filling mixture into a 1"-long log that is narrow enough to fit through the opening of the squash blossom.  Ease it in, close the  blossom and gently squeeze the log down into the bottom of the blossom.  Repeat until the blossom is full, and twist the end closed.

    
   

   

   The mini-log method.  No action shots are included because the process looks unbelievably pornographic.

2. Preheat the oven to 400 °F.
3. Break 2 eggs into a bowl and whisk. 
4. Prepare 3/4 cup of breadcrumbs and place them in another bowl.
5. Dredge each stuffed squash blossom in egg, then breadcrumbs, and transfer to an oiled baking sheet.
6. Bake for 10 minutes, until lightly browned and crispy.
7. Remove from the oven. Allow to cool for a few minutes before serving.

The finished product bears a hilarious resemblance to deep-friend squid.